My Dear Readers,
I have discovered, starting back in college, that when I can shift my perspective about a situation, I can change how I feel about it. I can change my beliefs.
Lately, I’ve been struggling, again, with the thoughts in my head of having been molested by my older brother when I was young. It brings up feelings of anger, of sadness, of regret, and feelings that life is not fair.
I’ve been trying to find a perspective, the perspective to free me from these thoughts. I know on a conscious level that I need to love myself in order to heal from this, but the how has eluded me.
Recently, a dear friend started an online group for discussions such as this to be addressed. I put out the question of how to let go of this victim mentality, and answers came in. Some were answers that I already knew, answers that were good to read, but weren’t giving me the new perspective I was searching for. Then, one answer came that put a new spin on things that hit me just the right way.
It wasn’t something completely new, but the way the words hit me this morning resonated in a new way. They settled differently into my heart. The words were, ” “It allowed you to feel that you do not resonate with that low vibrational energy.” Experiencing being molested taught me what low vibrations feel like, and that they don’t feel good. At the soul level it was just an experience. I chose to experience low vibrations so I could choose to live in higher vibrations. When I feel certain feelings that are not comfortable, I know that whatever is putting me there is not the way to go, and it’s time to course correct. To change directions. To not go there. Our emotions are our vibrational compass in life.
Another perspective that helped me over a year ago, was knowing that my brother violated me in an attempt to exert control over me. He spent our childhood looking for power and control; and he found it by controlling and violating me, thinking that he needed to take these things from me. What he didn’t understand, and still doesn’t to this day, is that he was created as a perfect child of God (as am I and everyone else), with all of the power and love that he’ll ever need. All he has to do is open himself up to it.
These shifts in perspective have helped me in so many ways. I don’t know when I’ll be totally and completely released, but I’m making my way there.
Thanks for coming by and reading.