I have been absent from this blog for six months. So much was happening inside me, so quickly, that I couldn’t figure out what to write.
What I did was go back to working with a wonderful transpersonal hypnotherapist. I had several sessions with her, and while I was doing that, I decided to also work with a woman who calls herself a medical intuitive. She can see energies in and around our physical bodies, and can see how they interact with it.
For example, if I want to know if a vitamin or supplement is good for my body, she will look at how this thing resonates with me. And if it doesn’t resonate well with me, she can look deeper into what it is about that substance that I don’t resonate with. She can see energetic cords between me and other people. She can look into disease processes that are in my body or are in my energy field, but haven’t yet entered my body. As I was healing from a broken foot, several months back, she would occasionally see foreign energies trying to set up shop in my wound, thus setting the stage for continued pain or possibly delayed or incomplete healing. She would clear them out or let me do so by picturing the area filled with the vibration of gold light. And these are just a smattering of her talents.
With the hypnotherapist, we would talk about what I wanted to work on, and then she would put me into a state of relaxed focus where my monkey mind was quiet and couldn’t get involved (this is hypnosis), and she’d lead me to the nugget of what I wanted to change. One of the first sessions I did back in February involved figuring out what was going on when I would often feel a generalized sense of unease and discomfort. I noticed that the only thing that would calm this feeling was food. In a blog entry soon to come I will elaborate in detail how this session went and what I learned and healed.
While doing this intensive therapy, I found out from my doctor that I had developed type 2 diabetes. And being morbidly obese with a food addiction didn’t help matters. Because my doctor is a naturopath, instead of putting me right on pharmaceutical drugs, she told me to buy a book, The Blood Sugar Solution, by Dr. Mark Hyman, and follow his program. After doing that for 3 months, she wanted to retest my blood sugar 3 month average, my A1C number. In a blog piece that will be upcoming I’ll let you know how this is all going. I’ll give you a hint though, it’s going well.
Less than a week ago, my son and I were on vacation staying with my younger brother and his family in a summer cottage. One of the things that has bothered me for years is that this brother was never told about my being molested and becoming pregnant by our older brother. When this all went down, little brother was away at boarding school. And then I went away to a home for unwed mothers; but told everyone I was away at summer camp.
One day I mentioned that I wanted to talk to younger brother and his wife when the kids were either asleep or not around. One afternoon, the kids were all out of the house, while brother, his wife, and I were sitting out on the front porch, and brother asked me what it was I wanted to talk about. He thought it was something to do with our deceased mother who had been bipolar. When I told him about my being molested by our older brother for about 2 years until it was found out that I was pregnant, he was, of course, in shock. He was angry and sad. I wish there was a way to share information like this that wasn’t so shocking. But when so much that you thought you knew wasn’t the whole truth, it’s a big shock to the system. Both my brother and his wife asked questions and over the next few days found opportunities to ask more questions. They also said that having that knowledge made some things make sense – like, out of our whole family (cousins included) I am the only one who is obese. I wish there was something I could do to help him process this, but that is work for him.
Some of the biggest news is that I have healed my eating addiction. With the diagnosis of diabetes, part of dealing with it was a significant change of diet. I have dieted many, many times before, and every single time I was plagued by food cravings. For my entire life I have had to fight food cravings. This time I cut out all grains, all starchy vegetables, all sugar, and all fruits except for a small serving of dark berries daily. Because of food sensitivities I also don’t eat any dairy or chicken eggs, and I rarely eat peanuts or soy products. Add to that, that I don’t eat red meat, and there are a lot of vegetables that I just don’t like. You would think I’d be struggling and having a very hard time with my somewhat limited diet. But no longer being plagued by cravings makes it an entirely different ballgame. Eliminating foods I previously craved, like pasta, toast and bread in general, and sweets, has been easy. The few times I was about to turn to food I realized it was an old habit, and I didn’t go there.
If I didn’t understand the way energy healing works, I’d have to call it a miracle. Quite frankly, I didn’t know if I’d ever reach this point, and it does feel like a miracle. Imagine someone who has been an alcoholic for their entire life, and then after almost 50 years they don’t need a drink… at… all. Period. That’s what I’m feeling.
With the things I worked on in hypnotherapy, I now have strong personal boundaries, I have a ton more peace in my heart, and I honor and take care of myself much more. It’s so sweet to be in such a good place.
With love in my heart,