Welcome to my place. It’s a place I have created, where I can write my truth. It might not be your truth, even if you have shared similar life experiences. But who knows? I go by Persephone because that is the name of one of my healing guides. She is gentle, loving, and lives in her truth. I have been working on living a life of authenticity, learning about myself and how I fit into this thing they call the universe.
My life began some forty something years ago, but my story goes back even further. In fact, it goes back several lifetimes. But for my purposes today, I’ll talk about what I learned during a hypnosis session about four years ago.
But first, a quick explanation about hypnosis. It is one of the healing modalities that I have used with success. It is a state of being relaxed and focused. When you are hypnotized, you can not do anything you don’t want to do, and you can get up and walk around and open your eyes at any time. Ever drive down a road and space out for a while, not really remembering the past several miles? That is a state of hypnosis. Another thing about hypnosis is that when your conscious mind is quiet, and the subconscious mind is brought forth, it can’t lie. Yes, you are open to suggestion, but the subconscious can not lie. That’s why a good hypnotist (or hypnotherapist- I use the term interchangeably) will not ask leading questions or suggest answers to questions they have asked.
Back to an illuminating hypnosis session. I was seeing this hypnotherapist with the goal of losing weight. His education taught him that behind compulsive eating, is a misbelief. And the route to find this misbelief is through our emotions. So, I would go into a session and we’d talk about a situation that brought up an emotional trigger that sent me bingeing. In hypnosis, he would ask me to connect with that feeling, that trigger, and to go back in time to the first time I ever felt it.
This one day, I regressed back to when I was a little 3 month old baby in my crib. I was crying for my mother, who wasn’t coming to soothe me. She was in the house, but left me to cry. I could sense that she was unable to deal with me at the time, so she just let me cry. At the time, she was bipolar and undiagnosed. When the hypnotherapist asked me if this feeling was new or familiar, I said it was familiar. Because I had felt it before, this was not the initiation of the feeling. He regressed me further back.
One stop was in the birth canal. Had to go further back again. I was in the womb and scared like crazy to be born. Had I bitten off more than I could chew? Went back again and was aware of being in a hazy, floaty waiting area. Waiting to be born. Had to go back yet again, and was popped into a small room where I was standing with my Spirit Guide, planning the life that I was about to enter into.
In a moment, I realized that before we are born, we plan lessons into our life. We strive to learn these lessons through our lifetime. And I also realized that when we die, we pass back to this other side and review the life we just lived, to see how we did. Did we learn the lessons? If not, what parameters can we change in our next life, so we might have a better chance to learn them. We judge ourselves. There is no external figure, such as how most people see God, that sits in judgement of us. The Bible got it wrong. This is my truth.
The lesson that was revealed to me that day was that I had wanted to feel “the pain of all humanity so I would be able to empathize better with people. And if I could empathize with them, then I could help them better.” That was what I got. And in order to feel a lot of pain in life, I decided to make an agreement with the soul who would be my mother, that she would be mentally ill (bipolar) and would verbally lash out at me throughout our lifetime together, when she was manic. And because of her mental illness, she would not really be there for me a lot of the time. I also made an agreement with the soul who would be my older brother, that he would be predatory towards me during our childhoods, and that this would evolve into sexual abuse. I made agreements with other souls to participate in my life in the capacity of other family members and close friends, but they weren’t abusive towards me. One brave, loving soul agreed to be in my life for just a short time, being born to me as my daughter, the product of molestation. She was given up for adoption.
Once the misbelief was uncovered, my hypnotherapist asked me, with my adult wisdom, if I still needed to feel all that pain. Had I gotten that lesson yet? The answer I got was that I had learned the lesson, and didn’t need to feel that level of pain any longer. In that moment, something in me shifted. To make sure change had happened, the hypnotherapist moved me forward in time, to each of the stops I had made when I was regressing me backward. At every stop, my feelings of fear, dread, sadness, and the physical tightness in my body that had accompanied these feelings, were gone. In their place was joy, happiness, and a new lightness of being. One layer of the proverbial onion had been peeled away and healed. Many more to go.